Working full time whilst attempting to develop my tiny home ideas into proper building plans has been far more challenging than I anticipated. Finding time, and then using that time efficiently has been inconsistent, with some weeks passing with less than a few hours dedicated to the project. To say the least, it’s tricky to balance.
Or I should say, was tricky, because as of the Tuesday before last, I commenced part-time work.
It was an idea that I had been toying with for a while, but always as a future plan, a ‘one-day ’ plan.
However after a spur of the moment discussion with my manager, (who, I will add, is one of the most accommodating and encouraging managers one can have,) I was suddenly facing the prospect of commencing part-time work the following week.
So here I am.
2 o’clock in the afternoon on a Monday, researching trailer options.
It’s funny though how our minds, or at least my mind, is always finding something new to fret over.
Before it was that I never had the time to properly dedicate myself to this project; a resentment that was negatively impacting the job that I once enjoyed. Now that I have that elusive time, not to mention a project that can satisfy the aspects that my day to day job does not, my mind has been quick to recognise new areas for concern. Guilt, if I don’t spend every minute of those freshly reclaimed hours on the tiny house. Concern, that I’m not contributing enough to my team at work. Distress, that society may now consider me a slacker.
All completely unfounded concerns, but ones that sneak up on you when you’re tired of comparing flooring options or loathe the idea of sitting down to struggle over building standards.
I don’t doubt that most of this anxiety stems from the high expectations that I place upon myself, yet I think it’s fair to say that it’s societies expectations that also weigh heavily on my mind. The idea that a steady, full-time, well-paid role is desirable and necessary, is drilled into us on a regular basis. To give up such a role is deemed foolish when the ramifications of such action could threaten your resume, future financial situation, and place within societies hierarchy. All very big, dramatic concerns, that blow far out of proportion when you realise that you’ve just made your first major adult decision out of choice rather than necessity.
However, all that said, I think it’s equally foolish to let an unlikely opportunity slip through one’s fingers, even if the sensibility is questioned by some. In the scheme of a lifetime, what is a single year of trying something a little more daring? Better now whilst I am still blessed with the naivety of a 24-year-old .
So though it certainly is taking a fair bit of rewiring, not to mention budgeting, I am incredibly grateful for the change of my situation. It is both equal parts scary and exciting, but looking at the progress I have been able to make in the past fortnight alone I think I am onto a good thing.